


Oh That He May Not Discredit Me Tonight

by verhalen



Series: Something Something Avengers [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bisexual Male Character, Bucky Gets A "You Tried" Star, Cake, Cooking, Everyone Is Poly Because Avengers, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Multi, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:47:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25013395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/verhalen/pseuds/verhalen
Summary: Nat gets wistful for Vienna, and Bucky brings a little of Vienna to her.Or he tries, anyway.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson/Steve Rogers
Series: Something Something Avengers [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1811143
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	Oh That He May Not Discredit Me Tonight

**Author's Note:**

  * For [detergent](https://archiveofourown.org/users/detergent/gifts).



> The title comes from the words of Prince Metternich of Austria. The origin story of the sacher-torte is that he had requested a dessert for a special occasion, but since the chef was ill, his young apprentice Franz Sacher filled in and invented the famous cake.
> 
> Written for my "National Sacher Torte Day - December 5" square for Winterfest In July 2020.

Nat had that look on her face again.  
  
Of course, she always had a look - that was something Bucky loved about her. But right now, she had a _look_ , and Bucky knew that meant trouble, or at least the potential for trouble.  
  
"You OK?" Bucky asked, putting his good arm around her waist.  
  
Nat nodded, and sighed. She leaned on him. "Just, you know." She gestured out over the balcony, to the view of the city below. "We fight for freedom and justice, and they make us live in this gilded cage so they can keep an eye on us." Her frown intensified. "I miss being able to go where I want to go. Do what I want to do."  
  
"I hear ya." Bucky kissed her cheek. "Though we still get to do some things we want to do."  
  
Nat elbowed him. " _You_ have a one track mind, _James._ "  
  
"What? I was talking about playing video games!"  
  
"Sure." Now Nat smirked a little. "Sure you were."  
  
Bucky gave her an innocent face that wasn't innocent at all, and then he twitched his nose at the snowflakes beginning to fall. "Hey, it's snowing. Make a wish."  
  
Nat turned to face him and folded her arms, giving him that grumpy look again. "I don't do that shit."  
  
"Aw come on, Nat. Just... have fun a little." Bucky caught a snowflake in his hand, and closed his eyes. _I wish you could find happiness, with what we can have, what we do have._  
  
Nat took a deep breath and then she caught a snowflake in her hands. "I wish we could go on vacation," Nat said aloud.  
  
"You know, you're not supposed to say the wish out loud. That's not how it works."  
  
"Bucky, this entire thing is bullshit, OK?"  
  
"OK." Bucky kissed the tip of her nose. He wasn't going to argue with her, at least not over this. He turned back to look at the view of the sunset, the snow falling over the city. "So, you want to go somewhere, huh?"  
  
"It's been awhile. I don't mean on assignment. I mean on actual _vacation._ "  
  
"Anyplace in mind?"  
  
Nat shrugged. "I liked Vienna, last time I was there. Very cultural."  
  
Nat would never cease to amaze him. Bucky thought of Vienna as a really hoity-toity place, classical music, fine art... Nat was a down-to-earth girl. Nat stabbed people. But he liked how multifaceted she was, always full of surprises. "Vienna, eh?"  
  
"Yep." Nat nodded. "Vienna."  
  
  
_  
  
  
Later, after Nat was asleep, Bucky was still awake. This wasn't unusual for him, he kept late hours, so did Sam, and sometimes Steve slept, sometimes Steve joined them. Sam was working out - had to keep that gorgeous body in shape - and Bucky sat on the couch, reading, but he couldn't pay attention. He kept thinking of how sad Nat looked on the balcony.  
  
Steve came out in a T-shirt and pajama bottoms. He gave Bucky a kiss before he sat down. "Hey, babe."  
  
"Hey yourself."  
  
"You want some hot cocoa or something? Some cider?"  
  
"Nah."  
  
Steve's eyes narrowed. "What's wrong, Buck?"  
  
"Not so much wrong with me." Bucky sighed. "It's Nat."  
  
"Oh no, don't tell me you two had a fight -"  
  
"No, we didn't. She's just... sad again. She wants to go on vacation. She feels, well, cooped up here. I mean we all do, but..."  
  
"Yeah, we all do." Steve nodded. "But I imagine it's worse for her, she's seen so much of the world."  
  
"She wants to go to Vienna." Bucky chuckled. "I've never even been to Vienna. Like... composers come from there, right?"  
  
"Yeah, Buck, some famous composers come from there. It's a beautiful place. We should all go when..." Steve's voice trailed off. He didn't have to say it. _When they finally let us out on the short leash._  
  
Anger flared in Bucky again, that he served his country - humanity as a whole - just to be treated like a criminal. But that wasn't Steve's fault, or Sam's fault, and it certainly wasn't Nat's fault.  
  
Steve seemed to sense the tension building and he pulled Bucky close, kissed the top of his head. "I know you want to make your girl happy."  
  
"I do. I mean, I know I can't fix _this_ , but I want to do something."  
  
"Well..."  
  
Steve let Bucky rest on him for a few minutes, rocking him gently, and then they pulled back and Steve stroked Bucky's hair, a thoughtful look on his face. Bucky could practically see the gears turning in Steve's head. Finally Steve raised his index finger. "Why don't you cook or bake her something Viennese? Vienna's got a really rich culinary tradition."  
  
"Oh! Yeah, I could do that."  
  
Sam came in then, looking delicious with his sweaty gym clothes clinging to him all the right places. Steve and Bucky ogled him together as he walked in and made a beeline for the fridge to get a sports drink with electrolytes. Sam leaned against the fridge. "You guys look like you're up to something."  
  
"Come shopping with me tomorrow?" Bucky asked. At least they got to do that much, run errands like normal people. "I gotta get some things."  
  
"What kind of things?"  
  
"Don't know yet. I need to look at some recipes online."  
  
"Oh shit," Sam said.  
  
Bucky glared. "You sound like I'm gonna burn the kitchen down, Sam."  
  
"There is no 'like'."  
  
Steve cackled and Bucky shot him a look; Steve mimed a kiss. Then Sam winked at him. "I'll come along on the shopping trip," Sam said. "Maybe even supervise you in the kitchen tomorrow."  
  
"Supervise? That sounds almost kinky," Steve said.  
  
"You could help." Sam grinned.  
  
"Sure. Let's cheer up Nat together," Steve said, nodding.  
  
  
_  
  
  
Before the grocery run, Bucky had researched recipes and decided on the famous sacher-torte, a chocolate sponge cake with apricot jam and dark chocolate icing. It sounded daunting to make but Bucky really wanted to do something special for Nat, and it was the sort of thing they could all enjoy - even Sam was willing to let himself cheat with the carbs. But then, Sam had a weakness for cake.  
  
The shopping trip was uneventful in and of itself, save that Sam had to wear those jeans that hugged his ass just so and Bucky got distracted enough that he didn't realize until they got home - or "home", the penthouse apartment SHIELD had them in - that he'd grabbed a jar of pineapple jam, not apricot jam.  
  
"Oh, _fuck,_ " Bucky yelled when he pulled it out of the bag.  
  
"Oh," Sam said, looking at it. "Is that the wrong kind?"  
  
"It was supposed to be apricot."  
  
"We could go back to the store -"  
  
"No, that would be a lot of trouble. I mean, I'm sure chocolate and pineapple sound good together, right?"  
  
"I ate chocolate syrup, pineapple and whipped cream off of Steve's body once," Sam said. "It was pretty good."  
  
Bucky howled. Then he pouted. "I wish I'd been there for that."  
  
"Yeah, me too. Well, we can make up for it sometime." Sam patted his shoulder. "Anyway, let's get down to business, shall we?"  
  
"Are we already talking about me being naked?" Steve shook his head as he walked in. "You guys are terrible."  
  
"Thank you," Bucky and Sam said in unison.  
  
  
_  
  
  
Dinner that evening was pizza, by Nat's request; Sam ate a salad instead, which got Steve making "rabbit food" jokes until Sam threw a cherry tomato at him. Steve caught it with his mouth.  
  
The pizza itself wasn't the best ever, nor was it the worst. There was a hole-in-the-wall place nearby with brick ovens and they liked the pizza and salads there. The everyday ordinariness of the pizza made Bucky feel like it would be even more of a surprise to Nat to unveil the cake.  
  
"Oh my god, sacher-torte." Nat's eyes lit up when she saw it.  
  
"If we can't take milady to Vienna, Vienna comes to you," Bucky said, and cut her the first piece.  
  
Nat eyed it suspiciously. "That's not apricot jam."  
  
"That's pineapple," Bucky said.  
  
"Pineapple."  
  
"Yeah. Uh. Pineapple."  
  
" _Interesting_." Nat raised an eyebrow, indicating that meant "interesting times" interesting.  
  
"It's French," Bucky said. That was bullshit; he didn't know if it was French or not, and it probably wasn't. "It's, uh. It's Franco-Austrian."  
  
Bucky was trying very hard to keep a straight face. Sam and Steve were both trying not to laugh and failing. Nat glared at them, then at Bucky.  
  
"And where did you see that pineapple in sacher-torte is French?" Nat asked.  
  
"Um." Bucky scratched his head. "Er."  
  
"Pineapple is totally French," Steve said. "Wait, I can prove it."  
  
Steve grabbed his laptop and brought it over and pulled up YouTube. After typing into the search box and making a few clicks, a video started from an old television program called _Téléfrançais_. The four watched in amused horror as an uncanny-looking pineapple puppet began floating down in the sky with an umbrella. "Je suis ananas!"  
  
"Steve, I don't even want to know how you know about that," Sam said.  
  
"I'm going to have nightmares," Bucky said. "Well, you know. On top of my usual nightmares."  
  
Nat groaned loudly, then she patted him. "All right, my headcanon is the pineapple jam was made out of crushing _that fucking thing._ " Nat used her fork to point at the pineapple puppet on screen just before Steve shut it off, and then her fork cut a piece of the sacher-torte. Bucky watched expectantly as she tried it and nodded. "Pretty good. The suffering adds to the flavor."

**Author's Note:**

> Here is the puppet in question:  
> 
> 
>   
> 


End file.
